We Wish They Hadn’t: Bon Jovi

More specifically, We Wish They Hadn’t recorded anything after 1992 (we might even argue 1988). Were it not for (SHOT! Down in a) Blaze of Glory, we’d lean strongly towards 1988. Let’s not confuse things. It’s not like ’83 to ’88 were mind-blowing, influential, progressive contributions to modern music. Oh, no. It was mostly fodder for “twenty-years-later-frat-parties and 80s themed happy hours.” And that’s unfortunate since these guys knew how to have a good time.  Nice pants, Jon.

 Nevertheless, while I was digging around for this week’s new music post, I noticed that the boys from New Jersey have a new single. Curious, I decided to check it out. I wish I hadn’t. I’m not going to post it, but it’s here if you share the same sadistic curiousities about music.

Bang. In an instant, I was taken back to the days of MTV’s daily music video countdown.  You know . . . Adam Curry?

Damn. Straight. Adam Curry’s coif and smooth segues only made me more reminiscent of a time when MTV was what it was supposed to be AND Bon Jovi wasn’t insanely frustrating. The new song is not only a grammatically challenged mess of a title (What Do You Got?) and similarly structured to Motley Crüe‘s Home Sweet Home, but it ALSO happens to be a catalyst.  Indeed.  It’s the catalyst for recalling the days when Bon Jovi’s product wasn’t quite THIS bad.

And what kind of existence is that exactly (besides filthy f’n rich)? Can you imagine your mere prescence forcing someone to mentally (and almost immediately) recall when you used to be a lot better?  Dammit. That’s kinda depressing, right? Now imagine that exact question being asked by a Regis and Kelly audience member? If it hasn’t already happened, it will.

The moral?  Strive to be better than you were the day before. If that’s your goal, you’ll never be unnecessarily judged by a Regis and Kelly audience member. Promise. Don’t let our example ruin the point, please. (/knowsitsalreadyruined)

To offset the awful we’ve encountered and noted exhaustively, I’m going to show some love. After all, Slippery When Wet was one of the first few albums I ever owned.  And while my musical tastes have changed and become more diverse, I will not forget from whence I came.

Let’s get this brahsome frat party started, brah.

Sure thing, bro.

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